Have you ever had a notion that there is something more?

There is a strange dissonance in the air these days, this week, I feel removed, or simply… not quite here. I am observing it all from the outside, looking in, my life projected onto a screen, I have popcorn and wine and I am silently watching it all from the sideline. It has been a strange week. A woman down the street was screaming on Monday, glass was shattered – it is so unlike Tokyo. I got sick on Tuesday, I still felt sick of Wednesday, skipped classes, spent hours in bed waiting to feel better. Thursday came along, I spent four hours reading Japanese news articles and little tidbits, but the Japanese text just looked like little squiggles on the paper, a code, I could not decipher it. Friday is here, I am staring at the piles and piles of homework, my tests are coming up next week, the piles, they keep growing, and instead of treating said piles as weed and remove them, it is almost like I am nurturing them, like a plant or a small animal, I see it grow, and I do nothing about it. I simply observe, I do not act.

I have wondered a lot about time and space lately, what do those words really mean? We categorize time into hours and days and months and years, we compare events to each other by looking at the span of time in between them. Maybe time is like a movie reel – all the frames are there at all times, but we see them chronologically, one at the time, maybe it is just our way or organizing chaos into order in our heads.

I hope things will return to normalcy soon, I feel so floaty and detached.

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  1. Gitte says:

    Jeg har mine perioder der jeg blir eksistensiell og ikke gjør annet enn å undre meg over alt det som foregår rundt meg uten selv å gjøre noen tiltak. Det er som jeg plutselig våkner opp fra en lang drøm, hverdagsrutinen, som jeg ikke lenger skjønner sammenhengen eller logikken bak. Alle rutinene jeg har opparbeidet meg gjennom årene gir plutselig ikke mening lenger, og jeg leter etter forklaringer som skal rettferdiggjøre.