Inspiration is low. Work ethic is at an all time low. Holding the pen in my hand feels foreign, and I shake these days. I have hardly produced anything for the past couple of months. I have to remember that I have to make stuff, because I get sad if I don’t. I do not have an end goal, I just know I have to make things for me. Showing them off online is an added bonus, sure, but that is not why I have to make stuff.

I have a hard time explaining this feeling of control to people who do not experience the same discontent when not making stuff. I feel in control and on top of my life when I make stuff. It doesn’t have to be pretty, and it doesn’t have to be useful. if it is, it is always a bonus as well, though.

I hate writing about art / illustration / photo / creativity, because I feel it makes me seem self-righteous and full of myself. I don’t know how I can write about creativity and creating stuff without sounding pompous.