Things have been quiet here on the blog for the past two days, what can I say, real life caught up with me, and I got sick. I am still feeling a bit under the weather, and I am sort of picturing all of these little monsters floating around in my bloodstream and in my head.

I took these pictures a couple of years ago, not knowing exactly what it was that I took pictures of. I just found out today! These little statues have to do with Jizō. Jizō is guardian of the souls of stillborn, miscarried or aborted fetuses, in the ritual of mizuko kuyō.

“In Japanese mythology, it is said that the souls of children who die before their parents are unable to cross the mythical Sanzu River on their way to the afterlife because they have not had the chance to accumulate enough good deeds and because they have made the parents suffer. It is believed that Jizō saves these souls from having to pile stones eternally on the bank of the river as penance, by hiding them from demons in his robe, and letting them hear mantras.” (From wikipedia)

I am wandering around in this country everyday, and I see so many things which I do not understand, only to much later find out what it was I actually saw and therefore rediscover and rethink it. It’s like I am experiencing the same things several times, but with different layers of meaning each time. (In many ways, this is not such a bad thing, to first be able to just see something for the pure visual beauty, and later learn what it means.) I find it strange to walk around in a country, and in many ways be part of it, eat the food, talk to the people, take the train… and yet I am so incredibly on the side of it all. I feel very at home in Japan, but I still think I will always feel like I am observing all of this from the outside, looking in.

Good lord, the days of disconnect continue. I feel so emotional and yet so numb, and all I want is quiet time to snuggle up in the bed or in front of the computer, and have my mind zone out and just be in the moment and watch silly TV-series without thinking about tomorrow. (So that is what I have done for several hours tonight.)

Now, this sounded a lot more mellow in my head than on the screen. The truth of the matter is – I am doing perfectly fine. I have had a great weekend, good friends, many drinks, nice food, karaoke and sushi and junk food, lots of hugs and many smiling faces and everything else a girl can wish for. Now I just need to drag myself back to reality and have my brain connect in, preferably before the keigo class tomorrow.

Life is beautiful, it is just going a little bit fast right now, and I want to stop and smell the mikans without being late for class. Because look! There are mikans on the trees here! Isn’t that amazing?

I made a couple of sketches during one month last summer because I just wanted to get into drawing a little bit again. I feel like the theme song of my life is “not enough time, too many things I want to do”, so I decided to make some time. It actually worked out fine for about a month, before life caught up with me and I had other and better things to do. But here are some of the sketches from last summer. It would be neat to do some similar projects, to take the time out of the day to do something you want to get better at, if only for a week or so.

I feel disconnected today. I am here, but my mind feels like it can not connect the dots, I can not get the things I need to get done done. Maybe today I will just have to do nothing, and be ok with that.

Yes, I have an exciting life today. I just spent the last half hour looking at Mola Molas on youtube. My favorite fish of all time is the Ocean Sunfish, also called Mola Mola. It looks out of this world, both because of the size, and because they look sort of like they have been cut of half way through their bodies. I think this video was filmed in the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Which means I visited this very sunfish. He was super-big in real life, and it is such a humbling experience to experience something so beautiful and strange. I was locked to the glass for a good half hour while the people I was with wanted to move on. I can not recall if I have any pictures of him (the light was really low), but I am sure I have a couple of other pictures from the same aquarium which I am sure I will get around to posting some time.

(Picture courtesy of hubblesite.org)

I don’t believe in astrology per se, however, I think it is a fun to read the personality traits of the different star signs. I do think that these descriptions are so general that you can label any person any star sign, but that is a whole other discussion. No matter if you believe in astrology or not, I think that people associate themselves with what star sign they belong to, no matter if they believe in astrology or not. I have not yet found a single person in the western world that did not know their star sign, so even if people do not believe in astrology, they still care enough to at least know what star sign they belong to.

Apperantly a new star-sign has been found, the Ophiuchus. It is affecting those born between November 29 and December 17.

“In January 2011, Robert Roy Britt wrote in a post on Live Science, “Over the past 2,500 years or so since the zodiac was established, your sign has moved about a month relative to the sun and stars” and indicated that many people may not actually be the sign they think they are.”

“The constellation Ophiuchus represents a man wrestling a serpent, dividing the snake’s body in two parts.  It is the only sign of the zodiac linked to real men, sharing traits with Imhotep, a 27th century BCE Egyptian doctor, and biblical Joseph. Like Joseph, he is an interpreter of dreams and vivid premonitions. He is envied by his peers and favored by his father and authority figures.”

So, now I am a slight identity crisis here. All of a sudden I belong to a different star sign than what I thought I did? Oh my.

Polyvore is a site that I sometimes used to play around on, and then I forget all about it, until I suddenly remember it again, and go and play some more. I think most people use it to put together clothes and styles, but I have mostly used it just for fun. If any of you have an account, I would love to see it.

Some more pictures from many moons ago. We were really cold and had to take the pictures quite fast. Last two pictures are just preparation pictures before we went out to shoot.
(Model all pictures: Helene)